Daniel and Beth* are prepared to do whatever it
takes to help their children adjust to life with Reactive
Attachment Disorder (RAD).”

They adopted three siblings after caring for them as foster children. They were not aware of the severity of RAD in each child, but did know that their biological mother had been in and out of jail on drug and prostitution charges.

All three children are in counseling and play therapy has been helpful in treating their RAD, but life is still very challenging. Beth spends her time taking children to counseling or therapy and meeting with teachers and principals. “The easiest way to explain what RAD is, is to say that my children have no conscience. They know right from wrong, they just don’t care,” Beth explained. “If they want something, they will steal it. If they want to hit someone, they will, and the consequences don’t matter,” she added.

Beth also shared that by age 20, 50% of RAD children will be dead, either due to suicide or risk taking behaviors; 25% will be in jail, and 25% will have responded to treatment and learned to cope with their illness. “I refuse to let my children be part of the 75%,” Beth said. “That’s why the workshop on RAD offered by the Partnership for Youth Coalition was so helpful to us. There’s not a lot of information available for parents,” she commented. “It’s good to know that we’re not alone,” Daniel added.

*names changed for confidentiality

Connie describes herself and her family as ‘everyday people’ who just needed a little help from a United Way funded program to meet the challenges they faced.”

Connie’s son, Dawson, was a high energy toddler who started to experience  challenges when he started kindergarten. Initially diagnosed with ADHD, the first treatment plan was based on medication to manage symptoms. Connie and her husband, Brian did not feel that medication alone was the answer to the situation. They wanted Dawson to learn how to understand his anxiety and triggers and handle them in an appropriate manner.

Dawson started seeing a mental health counselor. The sessions helped Dawson learn to cope with his illness, but the cost of treatment was staggering. The family’s medical insurance didn’t cover mental health counseling, and even with two adults working full time, the bills kept growing.

The counseling agency suggested that Connie and Brian apply for assistance through the sliding fee scale program funded by United Way. They were very reluctant to do so…. They were DONORS to United Way and never expected to be using funded services. Eventually, they did apply and received a small weekly benefit to defray the costs of counseling. “While the $15 a week might not seem like much, it made it possible for us to make some headway in the mounting bills,” Connie recalls.

Today Dawson is in 8th grade and doing well. He’s learning how to deal with the things that trigger his emotional outbursts and continues counseling sessions. He shares his experience with understanding friends and knows that medication alone won’t treat his illness. As for Connie and Brian, they have become outspoken advocates for those suffering from mental illness. “People don’t talk about it… it remains some big secret and those dealing with it too often suffer in silence,” Connie noted. “People need to know that if it can happen in our every day, middle class family, it can happen to anyone. We’re just thankful that United Way was there when we needed a little extra help,” she added.